Ah, yoga pants. Over the past couple years they’ve really surged past sweatpants to be the go-to choice for lady lounging. And why not? They’re comfy, stretchy, elastic waist (ahhhhh), slimming, and hopefully leave people with the impression that you do yoga. But ladies, I have to be honest, they’re not always a home run. Go to the mall, the grocery store, or any place else women congregate and take a look around. Some of these broads do not know how to wear yoga pants. Part of me worries that if women keep mindlessly throwing on yoga pants, they will morph into the new mom jeans complete with SNL parodies. Ladies, we can’t let this happen, mostly because I like being able to run around all weekend in my yoga pants, ok? If you’ve ever thought, “maybe I don’t know how to wear yoga pants” guess what? You probably don’t. Lucky for you, I’ve decided to compile a little cheat sheet to help, so get your notebook out.
1. Remember they are yoga pants. You should be able to reasonably pass off that yoga (or Pilates or the gym) are part of your day. You’re either coming from or going to, that’s how you got caught in your yoga pants.
2. Check the thickness of the material. Are you putting on yoga pants or tights? Seriously gals, the general public should not be able to see all your business in yoga pants, so check that stuff out please.
3. Get your size. This should be a no-brainer for all types of clothing, but it never ceases to amaze me how many women out there are walking around in the wrong size. And weird how its almost always a size or four too small. Yoga pants stretch like crazy, so you might be tempted to go down a size because you can pull them up over your knees, but please don’t. Ten pounds of sugar in a five-pound sack is never a good look.
4. No VPL. Ladies with VPL (visible panty line) who are you? It’s bad enough in regular pants, but I can’t even talk to you if you have VPL in yoga pants. Check yourself before you leave the house. If anyone who walks past you can tell what kind of undies you’re wearing, take them off. I 100% advocate going commando in yoga pants.
5. Don’t cheap out. I’m not saying everyone has it in their budget to buy $100 yoga pants, but you should always buy the best quality you can afford. Feel the material, try them on. A good pair of yoga pants are like a push-up bra for your booty, and a bad pair make your rear view look like a bag of wet laundry.
6. Don’t wear them to work, unless you work at a gym, or from your couch, or you’re in your third trimester. I don’t care how business casual your office is, when you’re on the clock your pants should have a button and zipper.
7. No nude colored yoga pants. Now I’ve never seen these in real life, but every once in a while they pop up in my Facebook newsfeed, and usually the picture was taken at Walmart. I’ve never even seen nude yoga pants for sale but they should be illegal.
8. Read the label. What are the washing instructions? Follow them, to the letter. When in doubt, turn them inside out and wash on the delicate cycle. If you don’t take proper care of them they are going to pill, and once they pill you need to throw them out. Sorry.
9. Try wearing them to an actual yoga class every once in a while. I’m not even being fresh. If you own yoga pants you need to at least have gone to yoga once or twice or you’re a hypocrite. (photo credit)
10. When the elastic goes the pants have to go. If the elastic waistband gets all stretched, the pants are dead. The pants will sag and look weird, so just let them go. I’m begging you.
11. Don’t try to pass them off as anything other than yoga pants. I don’t care what your bestie told you, because even with that tunic and jewelry we can all tell those are yoga pants. Friends lie, I don’t. You will never ever pass yoga pants off as anything else.
12. Check the length. Lululemon offers free hemming for their pants, so take advantage of it if you need to. I hate frayed dirty looking hems, yuck. And you can’t wear them too short either. Most yoga pants have a slight flare or boot cut, and if they are too short you’ll look like a tween with a gland problem.
13. Don’t wear them to a wedding. Ok this really isn’t mine. I know none of you would ever wear yoga pants to a wedding. While I was researching yoga pants online I came across all sorts of ridiculous tips for wearing them, and this was my favorite. I’ve seen some stupid outfits at weddings, but if I ever saw a pair of yoga pants I would probably lose it. The pajamification of America indeed.
Well there you have it kids, my 13 rules for wearing yoga pants. And here’s a bonus rule for you (and this is not yoga pants specific), if you’re not comfortable wearing something, don’t wear it. I don’t care how “in” something is, if you don’t feel good wearing it, then it’s not for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put on some yoga pants to attend a very important business meeting.