We just celebrated my son’s graduation this weekend and I felt compelled to share my feelings. I had my son when I was twenty years old. When I gave birth to him I just remember this rush go through my body. It was a warm and  wonderful feeling. It was a feeling of fulfillment, and now 18 years later that feeling still comes back to me every time I look at him. There is no denying the special bond between a mother and son. It truly is a love like no other and I am so blessed to be able to share this love with such an amazing son. When our children are small, we tend to think they will stay that way forever. We think that they will always need us, but as they grow older they need us less and less. I remember when my son started showing signs of his transition from little boy to teenager. His sweet voice got deeper, which feels like it happened literally over night.

Then he began to hit a growth spurt and got taller and bigger. He then began to grow facial hair; the first time he shaved I cried. Then he got his drivers license which for me was very difficult to accept. He had freedom and didn’t need mommy to run him here and there. Now he just graduated from high school and is getting ready for the next chapter of his life, which, unfortunately I will not be part of as much as I would like to be. He will be leaving for college in August and I already hyperventilate at just the thought of not seeing his face every day. I feel like I am on borrowed time because one day he will meet a totally unsuitable  girl and I will be replaced.

I know I sound totally dramatic but these are my feelings, a mother’s feelings. But until then, I will cherish my memories and take full advantage of the time I have with him. The next few weeks are going to be very emotional for me as I prepare to let him go. My eyes are beginning to fill with tears just typing this….so the point of this blog is just to say treasure the moments and never rush anything because time is very unforgiving and slips by us so quickly. As our children grow older, all we have are the memories so make the best memories you can…….and remember when your toddler is screaming mommy, mommy, mommy before you know it he or she will be leaving for college.

I think Joni Mitchell sums up this topic best in the song “Circle Game” if you never heard it before, listen to it!

Yesterday, a child came out to wander
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star

And the seasons they go ’round and ’round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Then, the child moved ten times ’round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, “When you’re older”, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams

And the seasons they go ’round and ’round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came,
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town
And they tell him, “Take your time. It won’t be long now.
‘Til your drag your feet to slow the circles down”

And the seasons they go ’round and ’round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game