In an effort to clean out and organize our closet, I came upon my favorite pair of pants from last summer. Easy and comfortable black goucho’s that I could pair with a t-shirt and flip flops. Psyched about my discovery, I quickly put them on….and watched in the mirror as they fell right down to my ankles. I checked the tag…a size 24. I sat down on the floor, my pants surrounding my body, big enough to pass for picnic blanket. I held them up in front of my eyes. A size 24? A year ago? Had I really been there? I went to my dresser and took out my favorite pants from THIS summer. I layed down the size 24 pants on our bed and then put the other pants on top. I stood there looking down at the difference in silence.
People come up to me and say “Wow! You are a whole new person!” or “You’ve lost half of yourself!” and I will just smile and say thank you. But, what I want to say is that I haven’t gone anywhere. I’ve lost….but friend, I have gained! I am not a whole new person…rather I am less of a person in a better way! But still the same old me. Funny, how fat girls can be invisible to so many people. Maybe it is that person who is suddenly noticing you. Man, I feel bad for these people. The shallow ones. I can’t imagine the beauty that they miss out on. Maybe now, people are just starting to notice who I am. Maybe now I am just starting to notice who I am. The person I am as I step out of my size 24 pants and into the present moment, feeling like a better version of me, a healthier me! Now, I’m just in cuter pants!