Photo from i.baby-gaga.com

Any woman who’s been through pregnancy knows that your bump (big or small) seems to scream out “I’m dying to hear your opinion” to everyone you come across. I’m starting to think that the “prego brain” that so often refers to pregnant women losing their marbles is highly contagious. The only difference is that I forget things like my purse or matching socks, but the rest of society seems to forget their manners.

To get straight to the point… here are some of the worst things you can say to a pregnant woman, and how we would respond if we had bad manners like you:

Are you sure there’s only one in there? Come to think of it, I forgot to check if my doctor learned to count in grade school. I’m so glad you pointed that out!

You must be due soon. You’re SO big! I still have a few weeks to go, but I can see why you asked… You probably thought we were both due at the same time!

Was it planned? You’re just so young (or old)! I apologize… I forgot to consult with you first on how you felt about when I should or shouldn’t be taking birth control.

You’re not going back to work, are you? Of course not! I was planning on living with you and applying for government assistance instead.

Another baby will be so much harder! You’re right. No one has ever raised more than one child before. How can I possibly do it?

At least you have an excuse to get fat! Good point! Why else would anyone want to be pregnant? And what’s your excuse?

Can I touch your belly? You don’t even have to ask! I always walk around public places touching people I don’t know.

Are you SURE about that name? Not really. I didn’t put much thought into it so I was going to ask you anyway.

I was hoping you were going to have a girl (or boy). Since what you want is obviously better than what I want, I am also very disappointed that my healthy baby didn’t come with the parts you wanted.

Is your doctor sure about your due date? I’m sure you could give him a call and ask. When did you graduate from med school again?

Just use the golden rule people: Treat others like you would want to be treated!