gossip

I really don’t know how to start this blog.  So, as usual I will make all of you read my rambling thoughts and then I will have a memorable lesson at the end.

When I started teaching fitness a while ago…ok pretty long time ago I had a great group of friends that helped me build my business.  Some of those friends lost weight along the way which helped my business even more.  Then there is an old addage that three girls can’t be friends and well that happened too.  Long story short after a long time of friendship there was a fallout.  A lot of it was based on weight loss (my views of the right way and the wrong way to achieve it) and a lot more was based on competition and finally a great deal was a lack of communication and the game telephone (you know the one that some people play and the truth is never quite the same when it gets to the final destination).  It was the fault of all three very stubborn friends; me included.  It was a huge lack of communication and a bigger lack of trust in my good friends and following to and listening to what others had to say and what I supposedly said myself.  For three years, this falling out of friends has followed me.  I have had a chip on my shoulder; I have let it ruin other friendships; I have let it ruin parts of my life.  I avoid some people in Target, I avoid their hanging out places I play the avoidance game for a great deal of reasons but the biggest is that I am trying to escape the drama.  And to be very truthful, I don’t want anyone to say that I look skinny or fat or any physical comments.  I don’t want to be judged against or with….I just want to know in my heart that I do the best that I can do.  And in addition what was I teaching my boys who were old enough to know?  I was teaching them to treat their problems like a 5 yr old…that was not good or adult or a very good parenting mechanism.

Then, last August I joined team Fit Body to train for my first show.  I met a great group of women who seemingly all were in it for the right reasons.  I had a great support system.  I met women with similiar likes and goals as me and everyone came from somewhere different in their journey.  After the show I kept in touch with a number of the girls.  Recently, I joined some of the “Beastie” girls at a kettlebell class. I wanted to watch before I committed because honestly I didn’t think I could keep up with them and I didn’t think I could do their workout and not look out of place.  Boy, I couldn’t have been more surprised….these girls were kind and nice and after watching them I won’t be up to snuff but eventually I will get there.  Before everyone got to the park; some of the girls and I were chatting.  We were discussing diet (my weak very very weak link) and that they struggled too.  We discussed lots of things and on the way home I had a huge smile because I had met some girls who had similiar interests as me.  And to boot, one has the same first name as me and one has the same last name as me…so it was like stars aligning…right!?!  They wanted to work hard to look good for themselves. They didn’t want to take short cuts and knew how their achivements were going to happen.  I felt for one of the first times in a long time like I could actually work out and not be judged. It was a great feeling.

Ok…so here is the moral of my blog.  I believe that everyone we encounter is put into our lives for a reason.  I believe that the good and the bad are supposed to be lessons learned.  I believe that we should take away from every relationship what we can and do better next time.  The funny thing is that not until I joined the PTA and other adult groups did I realize that the caddiness and judging happen everywhere.  Holy crud, really?  Aren’t we all adults.  So, my take home message is this.  Don’t sweat the haters; yes, some used to be your friends.  Be nice in public and private because they don’t know what to do if you are nice and not hiding in the clothing aisle to avoid them. Remember you get one chance at life; so surround yourself with those who make you feel good inside and out.  And, it will make your life easier if you just smile and nod and sometimes let others do their deal and realize you can’t control it; you can’t change it; and finally that you can either live with it or liquidate it.  I guess it depends on how much you value the friendship. For three years I have been sucked in and no more; there are much bigger things in life to be so very dramatic about.

My life, my race, my pace and finally I am enjoying the scenery.