There are hundreds if not thousands of diets out there. Some make sense, some are crazy, and some are plain dangerous.  It should come as no real surprise to anyone that women will try these whack-a-doo diets. SPANX, waxing, and botox are all million dollar businesses, so clearly women are willing to suffer to look good! Have you heard of anything crazier than these off the wall diets?!

The Tapeworm Diet.  What harm could possibly come from swallowing a tapeworm, aside from bloating, diarrhea, stomach pain, seizures, cysts, neurological damage, and even death?  Oh and if the tapeworm itself isn’t gross enough, it can lay eggs that travel through your body.  Gross. Just so, so gross.

tapeworm

Ear Stapling.  This is exactly what it sounds like, a staple in the ear.  Based on acupuncture principles, ear stapling involves inserting a thin surgical grade staple in some ear cartilage for three to six months.  Allegedly while the staple is in, it curbs your appetite, increases metabolism, and reduces stress.  The big drawback is GETTING A STAPLE SHOT INTO YOUR EARS.

ear stapling diet

Nutrition Answers

The Cotton Ball Diet.  This is like the theory of having a glass or two of water before a meal to fill up a little.  Only difference is that instead of a couple of glasses of water you eat a handful of cotton balls.  Doesn’t sound too terrible, right?  Well too bad the human body can’t really digest commercial cotton balls, so this diet is a big fat fail.

pile of cotton balls

The Vision Diet.  “Rose colored glasses” is a term often used to describe someone who only sees the good in a person or situation, well the vision diet requires dieters wear blue colored glasses.  The theory behind the vision diet is that you won’t want to eat food that looks unappealing, and wearing blue glasses will make everything a little more unappealing.  Well it also makes the person on the diet look unappealing because they are wearing ridiculous blue glasses.

vision diet glasses

Woman’s Day

The Aoqili Soap Diet.  This isn’t really a diet; no one is eating soap (well except the weirdos on My Strange Addiction).  Aoqili soap is made from aloe and seaweed, and it’s supposed to act like a mini seaweed wrap.  Let’s be honest, if losing weight was as simple as soap everyone would be thinner. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.

aoqili soap

E Vitamins

The Drinking Man’s Diet.  Back in 1964, Robert Cameron first started peddling The Drinking Man’s Diet.  It was low carb like many popular diets today, but with a twist.  Literally, he advocated drinking gin, vodka, rum, brandy, and whisky.  On paper this sounds great, meat and booze are two of the greatest pleasures in life, but in reality, booze plus food restrictions equals quick to be drunk and then a layover in hangover city.

liquor bottles

Mesh Tongue Patch.  The newest weight loss fad making the morning talk show rounds is the mesh tongue patch.  A doctor (who should probably have his license taken away) sews a piece of hard plastic mesh onto a patients tongue making it painful to eat solid foods.  The patch typically stays on for a month, and dieters tend to lose about 20 pounds. However, it’s common knowledge that rapid weight loss is hardly ever maintained.  Maybe instead of sewing a plastic patch on your tongue, practice shaking your head from left to right and saying “no thank you”.

tongue patch diet

NBC Los Angeles

The Nasogastric Diet. The tongue patch may be the new hot stupid weight loss gimmick, but the nasogastric tube held the honor previously.  The diet seems to be most popular with brides-to-be looking to drop a quick few pounds right before the wedding.  About 10 days before the wedding, the bride-to-be gets a feeding tube (NG tube) inserted UP HER NOSE in order to adhere to a liquid, carb-free, extremely low calorie diet.  That’s right, NG tubes aren’t just for preemies anymore, they’re for crazy brides with money to burn!

feeding tube diet

The New York Times

Breatharianism.  Part cult, part diet, all crazy, Beatharianism claims that food and water aren’t really all that necessary to sustain life.  All humans need is air, sunshine, and life force.  Anyone who is dopey enough to follow this diet deserves the starvation headaches they get.

Eating right and regular exercising don’t sound so bad right now, do they?

Featured Image Credit.